UK-EU Summit: Polite Memory Loss & Brexit Misconceptions

Well, well, well. Look who’s back– taking a trip company course on the Eurostar with a sustainably sourced charcuterie tray. Yes, the European Union’s polite pack swarmed into London last week for the initial U.K.-EU top on British soil because the exit-that-shall-not-be-named. The state of mind appeared to be a strange cocktail of courteous memory loss and common uncertainty, offered with a cozy pint of misconception.

Summit Outcomes: Declarations and Team Images

The summit ended in the usual flurry of declarations, awkward team images, the occasional love-bombing X messages and– in true European style– a joint news release all at once claiming whatever and absolutely nothing at the same time.

Brexit Deal: Fishing and Cheese

Good fortunes, aka “vibrant placement,” were claimed by both sides on youth wheelchair and reducing food exports– principles so gloriously noncommittal, they could have been borrowed from a Tinder biography. Basically: Britain consented to let French boats chase after haddock around the Network for the following 12 years, however just if they got in return the right to offer cheddar to Belgium once again.

Political Reactions to the Agreement

Nige “The Rage” Farage, in his normal sensible and unbiased tone, called the bargain “completion of the angling industry.” Former prime priest and male sensitive to hair brushes Boris Johnson just classified the entire point a calculated dishonesty. The Brexit power couple recognizes how to maintain it elegant.

Keir “Smooth Driver” Starmer did his ideal impression of a man that hasn’t spent the last 5 years urging he appreciates the Brexit ballot but has a secret thing for Schengen. Smiling like a head of state who simply kept in mind Nigel Farage’s latest approval rankings, Sir Keir invited European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen to Lancaster House– the poshest location offered that has not yet been taken apart by all the Tory infighting of the last decade.